Whether a game becomes a thing you both do is decided in the first fortnight, and mostly not by the game. Here is a plan that works, assuming you have already picked something.
Before you start
Two decisions, made together, that take about a minute:
- When. Attach it to something that already happens in your week.
- How long. Agree a session length now so you are not negotiating later.
Days 1–3: get the setup out of the way
Do the installing, account-making and friend-adding at a time when you are not trying to play. Nothing kills a first evening like forty minutes of “can you see me now?”. Sign in properly on both devices rather than playing as a guest — that single thing causes most of the friend-list problems people write in about.
Then play once, briefly, and stop early.
Days 4–7: short and frequent
Three or four short sessions beat one long one. You are building a reflex, not getting your money’s worth. Keep stopping while you both still want more — the feeling you want at the end of week one is mild disappointment that it is over.
If one of you misses a day, say nothing about it. The first time a skipped session feels like a failure is the beginning of the end.
Week 2: let it be uneven
By now one of you is playing more. This is normal and it is the point at which most couples quietly give up, because the person playing less starts feeling like they are letting the other down.
Head it off explicitly. Say out loud that it is fine for one of you to be ahead, or pick a game where being ahead is not a thing. If your game punishes a gap — ranked ladders, story progress, daily streaks — you have probably picked the wrong one for your situation, and that is worth knowing in week two rather than month three.
The end-of-fortnight check
Ask each other two questions honestly:
- Are you opening it without being asked?
- When you think about playing tonight, is that a nice thought or a small chore?
If the answer to the second is “chore” for either of you, drop it now. Nothing is lost. Two weeks is a cheap experiment and there are plenty of other games — the point of running the experiment was to find out.
If it worked
Leave it alone. Do not add a second game yet, do not try to play more, do not optimise it. A habit that is working needs no improvements. Come back in a month and consider adding one more of a different type — a calm one if yours is competitive, or the reverse.
Related: six mistakes that kill a couple’s gaming habit and how to choose a couple game.
